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Twenty years on from the release of the first Metal Gear game and ten after the first in the Solid series, Metal Gear Solid, Kojima Productions has decided to finally release to the baying, unwashed masses, the final chapter in the story of the cult icon Solid Snake. That should really come as no surprise to anyone, as not only did the pre-release trailers show Old Snake, as he is now known, eagerly fellating his gun barrel through a touching, if slightly mumbled, monologue, but my guess is that most of you who care have played and finished this game now anyway. Format: PS3

Twenty years on from the release of the first Metal Gear game and ten after the first in the Solid series, Metal Gear Solid, Kojima Productions has decided to finally release to the baying, unwashed masses, the final chapter in the story of the cult icon Solid Snake. That should really come as no surprise to anyone, as not only did the pre-release trailers show Old Snake, as he is now known, eagerly fellating his gun barrel through a touching, if slightly mumbled, monologue, but my guess is that most of you who care have played and finished this game now anyway.



That’s the thing with the Solid series. Its rabid fan base has always meant that the success of this game was guaranteed, even if it had turned out to be a buggy mess that looked like a steamy turd, (which thankfully it didn’t,) those bizarre types who spend their time reading Snake/Raiden fan fiction would have heralded it as the game of the forever to kingdom come and beyond. This is fine, every game has a few die hard fans, and as opinions are purely subjective, anyone’s perfectly entitled to make that claim, however, it’s when the rampant fanboyism sets in years before an actual release that it causes problems. Hype followed this game as closely as a stalker follows his favourite celebrity, never letting a moment go unwatched, rummaging through bins for old pairs of underwear, there was no point at which this game slipped the attention of those who wanted it.

All this despite many prolonged silences from Konami, just led to people getting more and more worked up over the same footage and screenshots. When the game finally arrived, I was left with a terrible worry that because I’d been exposed to so much of this talk, the game would be nothing more than a hollow disappointment to me. In many ways it wasn’t, and in others it was. Let me be a little more detailed here. As a game, and a game alone, it really is a great piece of work. What really failed to impress was the vessel the game travelled in, behind many full films length of video, and plot. This is, many will argue, what the Metal Gear games are known for. Hours and hours of cut scenes, filled with confusing plotlines, and complexities that are almost beyond comprehension. Then again, at some points you’ll snap back to your senses, realise that you actually understand what’s being said on screen, only to realise that the characters, who seem able to keep a full encyclopaedia of events and people on the tip of their tongues at all times, are struggling to put two and two together to work out what their next objective might be.



If you, like me, were moronic enough not to purchase a PS2 in the last generation of consoles, then clearly, Konami considers its story to be above you. In the months leading up to release, a flashback system was mentioned, that would allow you to hit a button when prompted in cut scenes to show flashbacks to previous titles and presumably fill you in on missing story details. Fantastic, I thought to myself, no need to negotiate the PS3’s flawed backwards compatibility to fully enjoy a game they’re pushing as one of their biggest system sellers. As it turns out, that was a little foolish of me. Sony do want you to go out and buy a PS3 with games 2 and 3, and the original if you never played that either, because these flashbacks are nothing more than still images that show up through a blizzard of static, and give no more away than the fact that the character in conversation now at some point used to be younger than they currently are.

Once I decided to accept the fact that Konami were just going to use every movie event to kick me in the face and call me names, I just stopped bothering to follow the plot, because even the parts I felt like I understood didn’t make any sense. The long and the short of it is, there are several computers than run the world, supposedly put in place by magic and just left to get on and do their own thing, like a binary Illuminati. I still watched the numerous hours of video, however, as I did hope that something might click, and there are actually some really great cinematic sequences in there, and some really charming little call backs to earlier games, which I’m sure I’d have loved if I understood them. Plus, if you’ve just paid £40 for a movie ticket that you cannot get refunded upon entering the cinema, you’d sit through the whole thing praying for it to be worth it in the end too.



The blow is softened greatly by the fact that the few hours you actually spend in control of your character, are immensely fun hours. From the moment you first roll up in generic Middle East Country A, you’re dropped into what feels like one of the most believable game worlds to have been created. Well, believable to the extent that both the French based Private Military Corporation troops, and the local militia all, not only speak English all the time, but also in strong American accents. Even so, it still plays fantastically, like a proper tactical espionage action game should. Well, actually it seems to have strayed more than heavily straight into action, including several vehicle mounted “shoot everything” sections, and providing little incentive to approach most scenarios in a stealthy manner at all. If you wanted to gun your way through, shooting down everyone in sight, you could. Guns and ammo are plentiful, and the auto-targeting system makes taking out multiple opponents as simple as it could be. This doesn’t mean that the game can’t be played in a stealthy fashion, but it doesn’t punish you so much as the first did if you’re not careful. I don’t know why, but seems Konami thought an overall balance could be restored if they reduced one section of the game to nothing but stealth, a horribly tedious section where you have to tail someone that just jars with the pace of the rest of the game. Contrast this with the final act, which boils down to you being placed at one end of a shooting gallery and having to reach the other before getting to watch the final movies, and it makes the whole experience feel a little disjointed. Not to say that inconsistent game play ruins anything, you’re still mostly grateful to actually be in control of what’s happening again.

No doubt it seems like I haven’t been entirely fair on this game, judging it in regards to my lack of knowledge of previous games, and in some ways that’s true. It’s not to be expected of Konami to lead you by the hand through every little detail, because those who have played all four games would most likely have chewed through their own cheeks in desperate boredom by the end of it. That being said, I was perfectly capable of watching Star Wars episodes IV-VI without having to sit down with one of those natty books detailing every last aspect of the fictional universe (something you actually can do with Metal Gear using the database on the PSN store). I’m aware this isn’t an entirely transferable comparison, but it sounded good, so I wanted to write it down. There is a real sense of satisfaction in watching the ending cinematics, as various characters go their own ways and conclude their respective personal struggles, and barring one moment, go by very successfully.



I suppose I should mention Metal Gear Online too. With limited playtime, my initial opinion of this has been a good one. An online shooter where I don’t spend half my time watching a time till respawn counter, automatically goes down as great in my books, however, quite what Konami have done with a good game is beyond me. Rather than sign in using your PlayStation ID, you have to create two separate Konami IDs. Why? Fuck knows. It’s probably because they hate you. Then comes the system for the delivery of additional content. When an online game is released with as few customisation options and maps as MGO, you generally expect a patch or two. Those patches arrived, but necessitate payment, so if you want to play on any more maps, or sample a different game play mode, you’re going to have to fork out extra for it. Oh, and they charge for character skins too. Yeah, purely aesthetic additions, like a Meryl character, are charged for. No thanks. Topping it off, guess how you pay for these? No, not through the PlayStation Network store which has worked so admirable for so many other titles, it comes straight from the Konami servers, which have already proved to be about as useful as a solar powered torch in busy periods, so if you were actually looking forward to any new content, I would suggest taking the day off and staying up all night beforehand, just in case it drops whilst everyone else is still in bed, or just add a week on to the release time in your head. A great, tactical online experience, that works surprisingly well, crippled by Konami’s desire to keep it all to themselves and demonstrate to the world just how incompetent they are.



Metal Gear Solid has been a divisive series, and has been heralded as one of the best ever created by some, and completely ignored by others. This is the title, I feel, that goes some way to bridging that gap. Love the previous games? You’ll love this; it’s more of the same, but much better looking. Hate stealth game? Don’t worry; it’s been packed with enough arms power to topple the world’s governments seven times over. Like movies? There’s enough here to… you get where I’m going. It’s a solid game, and one that I’d recommend to any PS3 owner, because it’s nice to have games that look like they’ve really tried, rather than being another shoddy port with no anti-aliasing, plus it’s pretty good fun too. Multiplayer’s worth a blast, just don’t expect it to be very long lived without a great deal of frustration and some financial input. Get it, but for the love of *insert deity here* don’t go into it expecting the game of the generation, it’s not that good.
]]> Poop Gang http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=21 Thu, 7 Aug 2008 18:25:45 +0100 http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=20 We so are...

That's right, the internet loves us, but seems to think we're paying our way out of our debated sexual orientation stance.

Courtesy of http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/youarea.htm]]> General http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=20 Sun, 18 May 2008 23:38:17 +0100 http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=19
In short; an angry black man. This angry black man.

Read on anyway, I'm sure this will be very informative. It didn't seem like it could get dull, but then this happened; from the last time I posted (over two months ago, fact fans), there has been a string of primaries touted as 'game-changing' or 'deciders'. Well, has anything been decided? Not to the point where it's impossible for either to win, but to the point where it would be very difficult for the momentum to change. This is an annoying stalemate, as Obama and the Democratic party cannot begin to turn their attentions on how to defeat John McCain, and get a President who won't veto all their ideas. Then they could focus on providing universal healthcare, leaving Iraq, and getting the economy back into shape. Of course, this would be easier to discuss. Let us not forget, though, that in America, they have several 24 hour news networks. If so little has actually happened, what on earth have they been talking about?

In short; an angry black man. This angry black man.





Obama's initial response was a speech that dealt with the issue of race in an adult fashion; the anger felt by the black community towards whites is real, fueled by the years of humiliation and suppression, and generally lessened prospects. He also acknowledged that many whites don't feel particularly privileged by their race, perhaps even that they are having to deal with the consequences of a crime they never committed. If we were to build "a more perfect union", he continues, we would have to move beyond viewing each other in these terms. He argued it was unproductive, and that such anger had been used by politicians in the past, to hide their own misgivings or to drum up votes. He also said this;

"We've heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike. I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely - just as I'm sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed."

Presumably because of the angry black man thing, and despite Obama's reasoned and, naturally, hope-filled response, the media held onto this thing for about a month. What makes this even more silly is that McCain has accepted the support of a pastor who has made far more outrageous, divisive, and ultimately harmful comments. Such as; Katrina was created by God to punish gays, America was founded partially to destroy Islam, which is apparently a "false relgion'. Hmm. Yet McCain has managed to dodge this potential bullet with a similar approach to Obama; he's a good guy, but don't agree with everything he says. Apparently, angry white men make for worse television.

So despite all that, not much has happened. The pattern of 'primary that no-one thought would matter, but hey, it might decide things' followed by deflated disappointment is getting a little tedious. The fact that all three candidates would make history (black, woman, oldest white guy ever), and come from the senate (as opposed to the CIA) is not tempering my boredom. Well, at least it looks like it's coming to a close; Obama has far more money that Hillary, and her dwindling support as the Democratic party looks to get this over with, means she can't compete anyway. For the first time, also, Obama has a lead in both delegates and superdelegates. If you don't know what a superdelegate is, you should really feel lucky, but watch this if you want;



If you sat all the way through that, there's probably something wrong with you. Anyway, Hillary appears to have changed her line from her "going all the way to the Whitehouse" to the party going all the way to the Whitehouse. As a comparison;



I actually can't find a video for the second one. Crazy. But she said it; http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/us_elections/article3919635.ece

Hillary has also had her own controversy, which she has since managed to refer to as 'misspeaking', despite it showing a profound level of incompetence and deception. Take a look for yourselves;



For those who did not want to watch, here's what happened; she said that on a 1996 trip to Bosnia, she was flown in on a helicopter, under sniper fire, where her fellow passengers were told to sit on bulletproof vests, and upon landing to run to their cars. Later this 'misspeaking' was uncovered as an outright lie; footage of the event was uncovered, where she was followed around by a TV crew, and greeted the acting president, and an eight year old girl with a smile. Above all else, it's rather amusing. So much so, that you have to wonder why Obama's pastor was given more airtime.

At any rate, I believe the nominee is all but decided, and that Hillary will drop out before the end of the week. I'll see you next time, and we'll see how accurate that was.]]> Poop Gang http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=19 Tue, 13 May 2008 23:15:56 +0100 http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=17
We've just moved over to the feature rich phpbb3, bringing in new features that are so great, I can't even explain them in words. Head there now to check it out!

:)

]]> General http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=17 Mon, 21 Apr 2008 01:12:11 +0100 http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=16
I'll start by talking about an area I have some experience in, criticisms made of men, by women. I've heard from various female acquaintances of mine, that men are immature, like children, unable to understand complex emotions, and still laugh at fart jokes and other such things. Well, first off, whilst I will admit that the odd escape of rectal gas, at just the right moment, can be about the funniest thing in the world, women are in no position to criticise. Sure farting's a little bit gross, but, and no word of a lie here, I've heard women talk to each other about their menstruation, and that's way more disgusting. I was in a pub once, and overheard two of the ladies sat on my table holding a private conversation with others around, which was pretty rude in first place, where one of them divulged that she was menstruating right there, in public! Thank goodness there were no children around.

Secondly, women say we men never grow up, we remain immature, but I'd like to draw your attention to what inspired this rant in the first place. A woman proclaimed that boys were banned from here show, because they smell and are stupid. Now, tell me, what does that sound like to you? The thoughts of a rational, mature individual, or an eight year old on the school playground? Exactly. When kids are younger, it's only natural for boys and girls to hate each other, they're only children, what other age group would consider kiss chase to be such a horrific experience? However, ten years later, and what's changed? The girls still hate the boys for all the same reasons, presumably because, the girls never grew up! That's right, it's the women who have failed to mature, stuck in the mind set of an eight year old, convinced they might catch cooties off a boy.

So, who's changed then? Yes, it's the boys. Now the men are no longer running about, kicking their female compatriots in the shins, but rather, attempting to grope their lumpy bits in clubs, because they know that cooties aren't real, and there's a chance to get laid, something laid down in our genetic material as essential to the furthering if the species, thus doing their bit for the greater good. Men don't care anymore, they'll accept anyone female, provided she's not fat or anything, or proper ugly, at least not without some alcoholic support. It's men who have become more accepting, willing to tolerate and most importantly open. We'll take anything with tits and a pulse, and won't discriminate otherwise, with silly notions of having your sights sets on a fictional, perfect woman.

So, women of the world, next time you decide to label all men folk as stupid, smelly and immature, look at yourselves first. Who are really the disgusting and immature ones? That's right, you. Oh yeah, and for God's sake, have a shave or a wax down there, or at least try to keep it in trim, honestly, it's like you think we'd enjoy a mid-munch floss.]]> General http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=16 Sat, 5 Apr 2008 14:48:30 +0100 http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=14
So essentially these chickens spend their entire lives trying to limp around in darkened barns. They’re not exactly the happiest fellas on the farm, in fact it’s probably true to say they are extremely depressed and hate life. If they had the abilities and resources they would be the type to self harm or write poems about blackened souls. They literally hate life.

Whereas at the opposite end of this chicken spectrum you’ll find the life loving free range birds. These chickens enjoy a ‘free and natural life’. They get to play about in the open air, even when they’re inside they delight in spacious environments. They can even play football if Mr Fearnley-Whittingstall is to be trusted. They’re having a whale of a time basically, proper happy chaps and chappettes.

It should be obvious where I’m going with this, right? For the slower people reading I’d best continue.

Right, so we have the emo battery chickens praying for death. And the super happy, free rangers having an awesome time and generally loving life. And then death day arrives.

The factory farmed chickens are sitting there, crying and hating life. When BAM! Their necks are snapped and heads are ripped off - or whatever the killing procedure may be, my research for this was non-existent. Their horrible life is finally over. They’ve finally been put out of their misery. No more suffering for them. Peace at last.

The free rangers, on the other hand, are happily strolling around their beautiful gardens. When BAM! Kill time for them. In their dying moments they see their joyful lives flash in front of their beady little eyes. And they think to themselves:

“Why? Why have they done this to me? Life was so great, I even had plans to meet up with the guys tomorrow and what about Barbara? I’ll never see my loved ones again…”

A heartbreaking thought, I’m sure you’d all agree. And that is why we can’t let Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall get away with his cruel plans to kill all those life loving, football playing, cheerful chickens. Let the emo chickens die instead. It’s what they want.
]]> General http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=14 Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:17:27 +0100 http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=13 PS3)

As wonderful as the internet is, combined with the fact that it now seems even more widespread than the list of sexual conquests of that girl you knew who left school in year 9 to have a kid to her step-brother, it still seems to rattle the gaming community when a game requires internet access to be able to play it. It’s bad enough when a game like Bioshock was released on the PC, which requires the user to activate the product online upon install. A problem which, despite being printed in big bold letters under the essential reading that is the system requirements, still led to various games forums being flooded with queries such as “lol my copie of buyoshok dunt werk lol y not?” from the illiterate masses of the gaming world. Imagine then, the concern that must have been running through the heads of the kind chaps at Incognito Entertainment when they launched the multi-player only, online dominated, Warhawk.Warhawk (PS3)

As wonderful as the internet is, combined with the fact that it now seems even more widespread than the list of sexual conquests of that girl you knew who left school in year 9 to have a kid to her step-brother, it still seems to rattle the gaming community when a game requires internet access to be able to play it. It’s bad enough when a game like Bioshock was released on the PC, which requires the user to activate the product online upon install. A problem which, despite being printed in big bold letters under the essential reading that is the system requirements, still led to various games forums being flooded with queries such as “lol my copie of buyoshok dunt werk lol y not?” from the illiterate masses of the gaming world. Imagine then, the concern that must have been running through the heads of the kind chaps at Incognito Entertainment when they launched the multi-player only, online dominated, Warhawk.



To their credit, they did their best to stem the tide of morons by releasing a half price version of the game for download from the much derided PlayStation Network, ensuring that all the cheap skates who were likely to be trying for a refund would at least already be sure that it’ll work because they’re already on the net. This led only to a second problem, which was that those who opted for the retail version were forking out the full £40 for the same game. Compensation for this came in the form of a Bluetooth headset boxed in along with it. Finally, it seemed that headsets might become a real part of the PlayStation’s online experience, something Xbox players have been enjoying for quite some time now, even if it is just to listen to a pre-pubescent American boy offer to give your mother an aggravated, non consensual, seeing to. In the bum.



Sadly the communication features utilised in Warhawk seem to have something in common with your girlfriend, in that if you don’t hold down the right button, it won’t make a sound, on top of which, it’s a fiddly little button too, that you’re likely to lose hold of if things should get a little bit too frantic. Thankfully, also like your girlfriend, it’s capable of completely ignoring anyone at will. A stunted Push To Talk feature, irritatingly mapped to the L3 button; you know, the one which isn’t really a button, so much so it wasn’t even worth labelling it like all the others, like some kind of basket child left on the steps of the orphanage, nameless; means that you actually have to make a conscious effort of letting people hear you, so you won’t get any of the mate-accidentally-gets-killed-and-swears-loads-at-his-mum funniness, and god help you if you should want to try and move your character in any way whilst talking, because that pretty much guarantees you’ll switch the damn thing off. It’s only redeeming feature is the option to ignore certain players entirely, especially useful since Sony added a function to allow you to alter the pitch on your voice in game leading to half the players you encounter sounding like Darth Vader or one of the chipmunks of Alvin fame. These shortcomings seem to have been overlooked by many though, because you’re getting a Bluetooth headset for £20, and that’s a bargain. The two criticisms I have of that thinking are that it presumes £20 is a blindingly good price for what looks like a prop from Star Trek, which it isn’t, they’re just overpriced elsewhere and it looks better by comparison, and also giving something away for cheaper than normal shouldn’t be an excuse for it not working properly.



But I digress. Communication is really only a minor feature of a game like Warhawk, and the game suffers none for the somewhat quiet nature of most servers. Mostly because there’s little for the game to gain from improved communications. The maps are so huge, and the action so disperse, that there’s little possible in the way of organising team tactics. You’ll be able to spawn in a variety of locations in some game modes, and other, you simply begin at the back of your team’s territory. This usually means a lengthy run to the front lines, or if your lucky enough to find a stray plane or jeep knocking about, a much speedier jaunt through. Now here’s where I fear my ability to give an honest and balanced review of this game might go down the pan slightly. You see, I’m shit at this game. A typical match for me will involve spawning, spending a couple of minutes running to the front, getting shot and killed, spawning again, finding a plane, crashing into assorted bits of scenery, grabbing power ups that I’m unsure of how to use, getting shot down, spawning, getting in a tank, driving to the front, hitting the wrong button to fire, and getting blown up again. Watching myself repeatedly finish at the bottom of the score charts after each and every game has become something of a standard, so much so that on the one occasion where someone finished below me, I actually jumped to my feet in excitement with a little yelp, something that would no doubt have sounded hilarious over the microphone had it been on, and then gloated to myself about what a retard this other player must have been. Then a sense of realism began to sink in, and I decided he must just have joined the game in the last couple of minutes, and that I’d probably woken my housemate in the next room with my celebrations.



There’s nothing that’s truly broken with the way Warhawk controls, but I’ve completely failed to settle into one of the available styles of play. I’ve heard other players go on and on about how some prefer to play on foot, whilst others will only engage in aerial combat. This is something I’ve completely failed to adapt to, as I feel that in a game which has all this variety, why the hell should I not play as a little bit of each? Team Fortress is the perfect example of this, where, although most people will have a class preference, it’s almost expected that you will swap and change based on what’s appropriate at the time. Unless you want me to play as the spy, then you can fuck right off, stealth is to be reserved exclusively for pussies, and Solid Snake. The problem is, Warhawk controls each aspect fine, but changing from vehicles, to planes to shanks pony can be somewhat disorienting, and the fact that there are two different flight mode just leaves me all different shades of confused. Was it really necessary to make it so disjointed when you want to switch between flight and stationary modes?



Personal game play issues aside, it’s still a very fun package, and great for those moments when you want a bit of multiplayer fun, but all your real mates are more interested in going out and talking to girls, or boys, or the local wildlife. As online is pretty much the only mode available, because let’s face it, split screen is a thing of the past, you can always find plenty of busy servers going, and they’re pretty reliable right now too. With future patches on the way, implementing APCs and Halo 3-esque bubble shields, there’ll be plenty to drag back the older players who may have since moved on, so they can come along and blow you all across the floor.

This one gets a Stalingrad out of a possible Bay of Pigs.]]> Entertainment http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=13 Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:58:45 +0100 http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=12
Of course, Guiliani had 'front-runner' status for months before the first primaries... but then people started to vote. Has a campaign with such major backing ever died so miserably? Despite the fact that I hate Guiliani, and thought he would've screwed up the world even more than Bush, the most exciting thing about that is that no-one saw it coming. Like everything else in this campaign. Indeed, no-one saw Edwards pulling out as soon as he did, and no-one saw the evangelical Huckabee winning a single state. If I were an American news anchor, I would probably say something clichéd like "It's been a rollercoaster ride"; many have.Let me say, first of all, that this race has completely captivated me, and all for very positive reasons. It's been a constant surprise; in a country where the multibillion dollar news industry heavily invests in polls, projections and analysis, surprise is nothing short of remarkable. I'll list a few choice blunders by the news networks; Hillary Clinton is 'inevitable', John McCain's campaign is 'finished', and everything will have been decided after 'Super Tuesday'. All complete bollocks. The script has been thrown out; Bush's tenure of awfulness has driven far more people to vote at this early stage, and the desire for change is what I'd put these shocks down to.

Of course, Guiliani had 'front-runner' status for months before the first primaries... but then people started to vote. Has a campaign with such major backing ever died so miserably? Despite the fact that I hate Guiliani, and thought he would've screwed up the world even more than Bush, the most exciting thing about that is that no-one saw it coming. Like everything else in this campaign. Indeed, no-one saw Edwards pulling out as soon as he did, and no-one saw the evangelical Huckabee winning a single state. If I were an American news anchor, I would probably say something clichéd like "It's been a rollercoaster ride"; many have.

Other highlights have included dubious 'crying'. Yes, that's what the media reported it as.



I found Romney's dropout speech particularly hilarious; the audience sound particularly let down. Perhaps he should've handpicked some people who were more indifferent to his campaign. He also tries to blame almost every problem the country has ever had on the Democrats. And France.



But right now, at least some of the uncertainty has gone. John McCain has the Republican nomination tied up. How he won has numerous talking points, though. Firstly, unlike his major opponents, he did not use the politics of fear as the backbone of his campaign. Unlike Rudy Guiliani, he has never proudly stated that he would bomb Mecca if he had to. Unlike Mitt Romney, he has never suggested gay marriage is a threat to families, or that a Democratic President would let terrorists run amok. His voting record in Congress could not be described as that of a hardliner. Despite missing all these 'qualities' usually required of Republican candidates, he is running away with it. As a European who would like to see the rest of the world remain intact, I am glad to Americans finally reject the hyperbole and moral absolutism of the Bush era.

Despite all that being sewn up, the Democratic race is still very much wide open, despite being dwindled down to two candidates; Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Obama has won the last 11 caucuses, but they have all been very close. With the system the Democrats use, where candidates win delegates based on the proportions of the vote, this means both candidates are just over halfway to the required amount, and there is only a 5% difference between them. So Obama has the edge, but anything could happen, really.

Tomorrow there are four caucuses; Texas, Ohio, Vermont and Rhode Island, in order of importance. Texans in particular had been complaining that, given many other primaries had moved up to 'Super Tuesday', they would have less clout than in years before. Events have conspired to mean that they now have much more. At any rate, the candidates are ratcheting up their campaign machines using the obscene amounts of money they have raised ($35m for Clinton and $50m for Obama just over the past month) for TV ads, magazine spreads and such things. Here's two examples;





For once, the script seems to be correct. Obama is younger and therefore more inexperienced, so he's running on a platform of change. For example, he's made the point that Cheney and Rumsfeld, the architects of the failed Iraq war, had the longest CVs of anybody. Clinton, on the other hand, appears to be making the point that there's no point in promising change, if you don't know how to follow through and produce that change. This has been the dialogue between the two throughout the campaign, and even more so in recent times; Clinton criticises Obama for never having done the hard work in Washington, Obama attempts to counter this, or simply tries to take the high road of positive politics.







Obama, after seeing that last clip, simply remarked 'sounds good'. Witty, but I think some people could see his unwillingness to engage Clinton, in the way she wants, as somewhat aloof. Clinton's negative campaign will either work or backfire; I don't like it, but I have no idea if the electorate feel the same way. We'll find out later today, I suppose.

Finally, prediction time; Obama will take Ohio and Vermont, Clinton will take Texas and Rhode Island. Whatever outcome, though, I don't see this being the end of the battle between these two. May it continue; it's bloody entertaining.]]> General http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=12 Tue, 4 Mar 2008 17:45:40 +0000 http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=7 Aneurin Games: Paper Plane

Very addictive and made by the forum's very own Aneurin. Play now! ]]> Poop Gang http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=7 Thu, 28 Feb 2008 12:00:00 +0000 http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=10
Poop Gang Presents...

Gianni's Victory Dance


Click "Read More" below for "Cleaning Scotty" & "Sprouty's dance".

Poop Gang Presents...

Gianni's Victory Dance


Cleaning Scotty


Sprouty's Dance


More from the recent Poop Gang meet soon! ]]> Poop Gang http://poopgang.com/index.php?itemid=10 Thu, 28 Feb 2008 12:00:00 +0000